Look Up Together: Screen Time for Parents and Children

A child tugs at a sleeve while the adult beside them keeps scrolling. It is an ordinary scene, and a painful one when we notice it happening in our own family. Phones do not distract only children. Infinite feeds, alerts and autoplay compete for adult attention too, and many apps are designed to keep us engaged for longer. Knowing that does not make us weak. It reminds us that healthy screen habits cannot be a rule we hand down to children while exempting ourselves.

Children may not understand why one more message feels urgent, but they understand where our eyes are. When a phone repeatedly wins during meals, play or a story, they can experience our divided attention long before they can name it. The aim is not to become a perfectly screen-free parent. Screens help us work, navigate, stay close to people and sometimes simply catch our breath. The aim is to notice when a useful tool has started choosing for us — and choose again.

Singapore’s current screen-use guidance

Singapore’s Ministry of Health strengthened its Guidance on Screen Use in Children in January 2025 under Grow Well SG. It now covers children from birth to age 12 and focuses on purposeful use, not only a timer. The limits are prudent guidance for families, because screen use can displace sleep, movement, play and face-to-face interaction.

• Under 18 months: no screen use except interactive video chatting. Keep televisions and other screens off in the background too.
• 18 months to 6 years: less than 1 hour of screen use a day outside school. Choose educational, age-appropriate content, watch together and talk about it. Do not use screens merely to occupy or distract a child.
• 7 to 12 years: less than 2 hours a day unless the use is related to schoolwork. Agree on a family screen plan, use parental controls and keep talking about what your child sees online.

Across the age groups, MOH advises no screens during meals or during the hour before bedtime. Children should not have mobile devices with unrestricted internet and app access, and parents should not give children below 13 access to social media services. The official HealthHub screen-time guide also emphasises co-viewing and making most of a young child’s day screen-free.

The rule children can see

A family rule is easier to trust when it applies to everyone. Telling a child to put away a tablet while we answer non-urgent messages at the table sends two different lessons. One says that attention matters; the other says adult screens always outrank the people in front of us. Role modelling does not mean parents and children need identical limits — adult work and responsibilities are different. It means explaining necessary use and protecting shared moments from optional scrolling.

Try saying, “I need ten minutes to finish this message, then the phone goes away,” instead of disappearing into the screen without explanation. Keep the promise when the ten minutes are up. If you catch yourself doomscrolling while your child is asking for attention, stop and repair: “I was distracted. I’m putting this down now. Show me again.” That small return teaches something valuable too — people lose focus, notice, and reconnect.

Make attention easier to protect

Willpower is unreliable when a device is buzzing within reach. Change the environment so the better choice asks less of everyone.

• Choose shared phone-free anchors, such as meals, the school pick-up conversation, story time and the last hour before bed. Adults follow them too.
• Create a device parking place outside bedrooms and away from the dining table. Charge phones there instead of beside the bed.
• Turn off non-essential notifications, remove attention-grabbing apps from the home screen, and use built-in app limits or focus modes.
• Make recreational screen use intentional. Decide what to watch before opening an app, co-view when possible, and stop when the chosen programme ends.
• Prepare easy alternatives: books within reach, music, drawing supplies, a simple chore together, or a short walk. Browse family activities in Singapore when you need a change of scene.

Balance, not a family scoreboard

Some days will not fit the plan. A sick child, a long journey or a parent trying to cook after an exhausting day may mean more screen time. Treat the guidance as a direction to return to, not a reason for guilt. Quality matters alongside quantity: a video call with a grandparent, homework and making something together from a tutorial are different from an endless passive feed.

The deeper question is not only, “How long was my child on a screen?” It is also, “What did screens replace today?” If sleep, outdoor movement, conversation and unhurried attention still have room, technology can remain one part of family life. When those things keep being squeezed out, begin with one shared boundary. Our children do not need adults who never get distracted. They need adults willing to look up, take control and come back to them.